Morris County brothers' child sex abuse cases bear striking similarities

Steve Janoski
NorthJersey

Two well-known brothers, living what looked like ordinary lives in their respective hometowns. 

One was a proud father and Denville middle school principal who filled his Twitter feed with his students’ accomplishments. The other worked for the family’s long-running South Orange construction business by day and served on a handful of Florham Park municipal boards at night. 

But Paul Iantosca, of Randolph, and Mark Iantosca, of Florham Park, apparently hid a black secret that torched their ambitions: An alleged sexual preference for underage boys. Mark, 55, is now serving a seven-year sentence in state prison for sexually abusing a teenage nephew, while Paul, 52, was charged two weeks ago with attempting to sexually abuse a former student in Denville after telling police he arranged on social media to meet the 16-year-old for sex.

Valleyview Middle School principal Paul Iantosca is accused of attempting to sexually assault a former student.

The arrests, separated by two years, stunned the communities in which they occurred. But experts are not surprised that two men with much to lose appeared so willing to risk it.

"We look at people who are public figures, or in positions of power or in positions of respect and say, 'Well, how could someone with these issues get to that position?'" said Michael Donahue, a Lawrenceville attorney who represents sexual assault victims. "In reality, every person is different and there are people who have some incredibly dark sides to them." 

Professionals said that in general, childhood trauma contributes heavily to such behavior later in life, but there's no scientific way to predict who might eventually commit a sex crime against a minor. 

Paul Iantosca’s recent arrest comes at a pivotal point in New Jersey’s fight to hold accountable those accused of past sexual abuse. In February, the state’s five Catholic dioceses released the names of 188 priests and deacons credibly accused of sexually abusing children over decades, dating back to the 1940s. Three months later, the state passed a law giving child sex abuse victims until the age of 55 to decide whether to sue their abusers — a 35-year extension from the previous statute.  

It also allows victims who were previously barred from suing by the statute of limitations a two-year window in which they can file suits seeking damages.

David Clohessy, the former executive director of Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, a national support group for people abused by religious and institutional authorities, drew parallels between Paul Iantosca’s case and the clergy’s well-known pattern of abuse. Often, the traits that help sexual predators become so successful in their public lives fool others into entrusting them with their children, Clohessy said.

“To molest a child, it helps immeasurably if you are charming, personable and outgoing,” said Clohessy, who was not familiar with the Iantosca case. “Because if you're not, no child is going to particularly want to hang with you ... and no parent is going to trust you." 

Paul Iantosca is scheduled to appear before Judge Stephen Taylor in state Superior Court in Morristown on June 17. It is unclear if he has retained an attorney. 

No genetic link

Paul and Mark Iantosca were two of six siblings, according to an online obituary for their father. Both graduated from Columbia High School in Maplewood — Mark in 1981 and Paul in 1984 — according to high school yearbooks. The family lived in South Orange for years, then moved to Florham Park 11 years before the father's death in 2012, the obituary said. 

Experts said it’s rare for brothers to have the same predilection — there’s no research showing the behavior has genetic roots, said Dr. James Cassidy, a Ridgewood psychologist.

A more likely cause for such behavior in general is some sort of childhood trauma, like a domestic violence incident that inspired feelings of helplessness, Cassidy said. But that doesn't necessarily include sexual abuse — research does not support the myth that victims eventually become abusers themselves, he said. Quite the opposite. 

“[Victims] understand what that hell is,” Cassidy said. “Putting somebody else in that position is something a former victim would never even dream of doing.”

Cassidy also attacked the notion that abusers could be fundamentally good people who just made a mistake. 

"They tend to be really quite frightening," Cassidy said of abusers in general. "They understand what they're doing. They understand that they're hurting children. And they put a great deal of effort into cultivating their public persona."

A matter of trust

The Iantosca brothers' alleged relationships with minors hinged on the trust that experts said their personalities likely fostered. 

Authorities say Paul Iantosca, the principal of Denville's Valleyview Middle School, sent messages that were "sexual in nature" to a 16-year-old and asked him to meet near a Pocono Road rugby field, according to court documents. The student, a boy who lives in town, told police he'd befriended Iantosca on Snapchat after the principal visited him at his job. 

The principal sent the boy messages May 16 saying he wanted to "have some fun" and see him naked, court documents said. Iantosca told police he'd arranged to meet the student in the parking lot to kiss, and planned to have oral sex with him elsewhere, according to the court filings. 

A Denville police detective met Iantosca instead and arrested him. Iantosca was charged with attempting to lure a minor to have sex and attempted sexual assault of a minor, both second-degree crimes, and endangering the welfare of a child. He has been released on his own recognizance. 

Mark Iantosca, Paul's brother and a former member of the Florham Park zoning board, pleaded guilty in 2016 to sexually assaulting a nephew by marriage over a period of two years, starting in 2008.

At his sentencing, the then 24-year-old nephew said Mark Iantosca used the pain of the nephew's father's death on 9/11 to manipulate and abuse him. His father was working at Cantor Fitzgerald, on the 105th floor of the World Trade Center, when the terrorists struck. 

Former Florham Park official Mark Iantosca was sentenced in 2016 to seven years in prison for sexually assaulting a minor.

The man was 9 years old when his father died, he said in court. He became obsessed with watching footage of people jumping from the towers after Mark Iantosca told him his father was among those who leaped from its windows. The man later learned that was not true, he said. 

"You used 9/11 to get my guard down," the man said in court, calling his abuser a "sick, disgusting individual."

Mark Iantosca is eligible for parole next March, the corrections department website said. He is scheduled for release a year later. 

Email: janoski@northjersey.com