BERGEN

Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom brings Muslim, Jewish women together to fight hate

A Bergen County chapter of the interfaith organization was recently founded and is growing in membership

Deena Yellin
NorthJersey

In the aftermath of the 2016 presidential election, during which there was an increase of hate crimes, a shell shocked Arwen Kuttner sought a way to take positive action.

Arwen Kuttner of Englewood speaks to Amber Huq, of Paterson before they serve Christmas dinner at  St. Paul's Community Development Corporation Emergency Men's Shelter in Paterson. Both women are members of the  Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom.  Kuttner says she is happy to see girls at the sisterhood meetings, including her own daughter, Naomi Ruttenberg (center), who is 11 years-old.  Monday, December 25, 2017

"I didn't want Muslims or immigrants feeling we were all against them," said the Englewood resident, who teaches at a yeshiva day school in Paramus. "Nor did I want people turning against Jews. I felt we needed each other so that we weren't treated as outsiders."  

Then she heard about Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom, a national, New-Jersey-based group that seeks to build bridges among Muslim and Jewish women. Group leaders were inundated with e-mails and calls from others who apparently felt the same way as Kuttner. Some were from Bergen County, where there was no chapter. 

Kuttner contacted other local women who had expressed an interest in the group.

"I said `Let's all get together at my place,' " she said.

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She's now co-leader of the 12-plus member Bergen County Chapter of Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom whose goal is to form friendships and wage peace across religious and cultural lines.

Growth spurt

The group is one of a growing crop of Muslim-Jewish interfaith collaborations, such as the Syrian Supper Club, where Jewish congregants invite Syrians to their home to cook and share a meal and, in turn, the diners make a donation to support the Syrian families. Other Jewish communities have raised money for damaged mosques or offered their own facilities as prayer spaces and Muslims across the U.S. have raised money in online campaigns to repair Jewish cemeteries that were vandalized. 

The Bergen County Chapter of the Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom cooked and served food at St. Paul's Community Development Corporation Emergency Men's Shelter in Paterson Monday.  They provided Christmas dinner for approximately two dozen men who reside at the shelter.  The sisterhood is a national Muslim, Jewish, interfaith organization formed to create peace. Serving the food (from left to right) are, Lori Rosner, of Teaneck, Sarah Huq, 16, of Paterson, Ellen Schwartz, of Englewood and Amber Huq, of Paterson.  Monday, December 25, 2017

Such a network, that promotes friendship is more relevant today than ever, observed Joshua Cohen, Regional Director of the Anti Defamation League.

"We recognize that attitudes and beliefs affect actions, and that each of us can have an impact on others, and ultimately, on the world in which we live," Cohen said. "At a time when we are seeing increasing incidents of anti-Semitism and Islamophobia, it is more important than ever for our communities to build understanding and jointly combat all forms of bigotry."

The league in its latest Audit of Anti Semitic Incidents reports that from Jan. 1 to Sept. 30, 2017, there were 1,299 anti Semitic incidents across the United States. That total represents a 67 percent increase over the same period in 2016 and already exceeds the 1,266 incidents reported last year. 

New Jersey had 52 anti-Semitic incidents in the first three quarters of 2017, according to the ADL Audit.  

The Bergen County Chapter of the Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom cooked and served food at St. Paul's Community Development Corporation Emergency Men's Shelter in Paterson Monday.  They provided Christmas dinner for approximately two dozen men who reside at the shelter.  The sisterhood is a national Muslim, Jewish, interfaith organization, formed to create peace. Serving the food (from left to right) are, Lori Rosner, of Teaneck, Sarah Huq, 16, of Paterson and her mother, Amber Huq, of Paterson.  Monday, December 25, 2017

The FBI in its 2016 annual Hate Crime Statistics Act Report in November 2017, documents an increase in hate crimes nationwide. The greatest increase in religious based crimes was those against Muslims which increased 19 percent from 2015 to 2016.  

According to the FBI, there were 282 hate crimes in 2016, 79 of which were anti-Jewish and 17 which were anti-Muslim. 

"Since the election there's been a lot more hate speech in this country, and that motivated some of us to want to be a part of this and try to push back a little bit," said Ellen Schwartz, a physical therapist from Englewood. "This group has given us the chance to get to know people we otherwise may not have known and that changes the whole story." 

While many of the women had a longstanding interest in the group, they admitted that, like Kuttner, they were more inclined to join on the heels of the election as a means of demonstrating their opposition to President Trump's policies on immigration and other issues. They represent a small but growing movement of disenfranchised voters who have formed grassroots movements that dream of bettering the world by joining hands and raising their voices.   

If not for the Sisterhood, many of the Jewish women might not otherwise get the opportunity to become close friends with a Muslim woman, and many of the Muslim women feel the same way about their Jewish counterparts, Schwartz pointed out. As a result, stereotypes have been erased, and some of the woman end up socializing outside of the group. At the very least, they return to their communities with new attitudes.   

Naomi Ruttenberg, 11, of Englewood and Sarah Huq, 16, of Paterson put together a Christmas dinner plate at St. Paul's Community Development Corporation Emergency Men's Shelter in Paterson.  Both are members of the Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom, an interfaith group that was formed to help create peace.  Monday, December 25, 2017

The Sisterhood was the brainchild of Sheryl Olitzky, a marketing professional who created the group in 2010 after a trip to Poland. While walking on the same ground where one her people had suffered during the Holocaust, she also saw signs of modern day hatred, such as anti-Jewish graffiti, and she overheard slurs against Muslims and Jews. She was seized with a calling to improve the world."I couldn't change the past but I felt a responsibility to change the future," she said. 

When Olitzky returned home to her home in Middlesex County, she sprang into action. She went to a local mosque, where she was introduced to Atiya Aftab, an attorney and local activist. The two hit it off immediately. They formed a group of Muslim and Jewish women who met in members' homes to talk, celebrate holidays together and participate in community projects.  

Making friends

What began with 10 women from their neighborhood, has evolved to over 115 active chapters with nearly 2,500 women across North America who are seeking to spread love and fight hate across the globe.  

Olitzky's hope is to eradicate fear between the Muslim and Jewish communities by generating love between the two groups of women. "The idea is that you don't fear what you love," she said pointedly. 

On Christmas, the Bergen County chapter members worked at a shelter in Paterson, where they dished out Christmas dinner to a crowd of homeless people. The group's show of solidarity was part of a larger effort happening this weekend in cities around the country as Muslims and Jews joined forces to perform charitable acts on a day when Christians were busy celebrating their holiday. 

Festive cookies were available for dessert at the St. Paul's Community Development Corporation Emergency Men's Shelter in Paterson, Monday, December 25, 2017.  The Bergen County Chapter of the Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom cooked and served the food for approximately two dozen men who reside at the shelter.  The sisterhood is a national Muslim, Jewish, interfaith organization, formed to create peace.

The Bergen County chapter — whose members include Orthodox, Conservative and unaffiliated Jews as well as religiously observant and non-observant Muslims — meet monthly at members' homes. At meetings, they have delved into the texts of the Torah and Koran to discuss shared beliefs and practices, such as the concept of charity, Tzedakah, in Hebrew, and Sadaqah in Arabic. 

Friendships have been formed. Some women bring their teenaged daughters to participate. Discussions often take more personal turns as women share stories of their lives and the challenges they face as they attempt to maintain their faith in a world that is increasingly secular. 

They talk about more intimate problems too.

"I love when telling our stories get to 'My mother in law drives me crazy too,' " quips Kuttner, adding that the women are always surprised by how much they all share in common. There's also a lot of laughter and munching on food (all dishes must meet Islamic and Jewish dietary laws).

Amber Huq, of Paterson, serves Christmas dinner at St. Paul's Community Development Corporation Emergency Men's Shelter. Huq, and others, from the Bergen County Chapter of the Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom cooked and served food  Monday.  They provided dinner for approximately two dozen men who reside at the shelter.  The sisterhood is a national Muslim, Jewish, interfaith organization, formed to create peace.  Monday, December 25, 2017

Reem Fakhry, an educator from Teaneck, says she looks forward to the gatherings.  

"We talk as mothers, wives, students, and as children and parents. We have hard conversations." However, the group members try to "build an understanding of who we are before we get into political conversations because those are very difficult and there's a lot of passion," she said. "We want to avoid that."

In fact, a key rule of the Sisterhood is to steer clear of discussing the Middle East until members have been together for at least two years.  At that point, the women will hear each other differently because they will be able to see the story through the eyes of their friend, organizers explain.

Confronting challenges

But there will be obstacles along the way. Many of the women in the Bergen County group admit there are outsiders who are skeptical, even critical of their group, particularly amidst recent controversy in the Middle East regarding the status of Jerusalem after President Trump's Jerusalem decision, which resulted in numerous protests and in Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas rejected any U.S. role in peace talks going forward. In addition, the leader of the terrorist group Hamas called for a new intifada against Israel. 

And a New Jersey Imam, at the Islamic Center of Jersey City, most recently called for the killing of Jews. 

Fakhry says some of her Muslim friends refuse to hear about Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom. "They are afraid to be outspoken. They are afraid of what everyone else will think or what they will say." 

But for her, she said, joining the group has been a life altering experience. "It's opened my eyes. I've been able to have conversations I never thought I'd be able to have," she said, noting that they discuss everything from traditional rituals and religious texts to issues in their communities and families. Holding gatherings of the two groups was sorely needed, she said "and I think that women are a great a place to start." 

As Olitzky frequently reminds the Sisterhood members, "Each woman is changing the world, one relationship at a time."

Email: yellin@northjersey.com

On the Web

Watch a video of Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom members talking about the value of belonging to the club. Visit njersy.co/interfaithsisters